How to help your Husband (or Wife) get out of debts
Maintaining good management of the couple’s finances is an imperative thing and directly impacts the happiness of the relationship. There are those who can maintain a sound financial independence among themselves, defining “who pays what” in the joint expenses, so that there is a balance. But when does this balance break?
Problems arise when one of the parties involved starts to spend a lot more than the other. And it can even get to the point where one of the people borrows in such a way as to endanger the future of the whole family.
But what to do when it happens?
1. Is it always worth to help?
It is already difficult to deny financial help to a close friend or relative, imagine having to deny a loan to the people with whom you chose to live under one roof!
Usually, the first reaction is solidarity, remembering that you have chosen to live together in “moments of happiness and sadness.” And you end up covering all the debts and extra expenses your partner made.
But this is not always the right choice. It takes a deep financial education process so that this situation serves as a sort of ‘reality shock’ on the person who spends a lot and experiences a change of habit.
Do not solve the situation in the simplest way: make him/her also have to struggle and sacrifice so that the final solution is achieved.
2. Transparency in Financial Control
If debts and expenses continue to occur, financial transparency must be required. You will have to control all your partner’s expenses and earnings to stop the money drain.
That will likely generate complaints and stress because no one likes to be controlled, especially those who have many expenses. And the relationship is likely to be a bit shaken, or at least there will be insinuations that this greater control means the loss of mutual trust.
Do not get carried away by emotional blackmail like these. If there is no greater financial control of all transactions, debts will continue to exist forever.
3. Goals and change of habit.
Set aggressive targets for the maximum expenses for the couple. The main goal is the change of habit, and for this, your support will be vital. Show that you are present, that the goals are joint and that all of this is for the good of the family.
4. External help
If none of this succeeds or if you really can not implement any action that can change this scenario of debt and high expenses, do not give up yet. Seek outside help.
It can be some very close friend or even an area professional. Often an exempt intermediary can calm the spirits and help convince that something needs to be done.