12 The Relationship Skills You Need to Know

Conflict

People often think of arguing as inherently bad, but if there’s no conflict whatsoever in your relationship, there’s a good chance someone’s holding something back. Differences between you and your partner are pretty much inevitable – it’s how you deal with those differences that counts. Sometimes, it’s a case of trying to argue better. Try to use a ‘soft’ start that focusses on your feelings instead of attacking your partner – so, ‘I’m so upset you forgot our anniversary’, rather than ‘how could you be so insensitive, you didn’t even get a card!’. Try to avoid letting things spin out of control: don’t say things you’ll regret later or just trade insults. And be prepared to be forgiving: it’s only when both partners are willing to let go of their desire to ‘win’ the argument that it can actually end.