Believe it or not, Kaiser, the soccer player, who was part of several clubs in his decade-long career, never played or scored a goal. He never seemed to make it even in the rare training sessions he took part in. In Brazil, a game of piggy in the middle would precede training sessions. “He was completely out of his depth,” Bebeto says. “He would be dashing from one end to the other. Sweating loads! He was knackered before training even started! One day we just said: ‘Get out, Kaiser! Otherwise, we’ll end up killing you!”