Avoid making comparisons between spouses. You likely don’t want your new spouse to compare you to their former spouse, so try not to compare them to your late partner. Additionally, avoid comparing yourself to their late spouse, as well. Doing so will just add unrealistic expectations to the marriage and may put unneeded pressure on your relationship. Instead, just be yourself and allow your partner to be themselves, as well.
- If you believe your new spouse is comparing you to their late spouse, be open about how you feel. For instance, tell them, “I feel as though you compare me to your late spouse and I am not comfortable with that. It’s not fair to me, you, or our relationship.” Your spouse may not even realize what they are doing and may change their ways after you express your concern about it.
