Atash Khayyer, a movie actor who died at the age of 34

Knowing what to say to someone who has cancer comes more easily when you prepare in advance—and that means preparing yourself and the person you plan to visit.

You can get ready by thinking about how you’d feel in their position. What is this person like? What do you imagine they’re thinking about? Use this knowledge to direct your conversation. It will be far more meaningful than asking, “How are you?”