There are a number of pre-wedding events that happen before the big day, but few are more exciting than the bridal shower. A time when female family members and friends gather to celebrate the bride-to-be and help prepare her for married life, the bridal shower is a chance for the woman of the hour to spend quality time with the most important ladies in her life and prepare for her future as a newlywed. And though bridal showers have been happening for a very long time, the etiquette for these affairs has certainly changed over time. To help you understand exactly what to expect from these events—whether you're the hostess or an attendee—we talked to etiquette expert Diane Gottsman and asked her to share exactly what happens at a bridal shower and how to plan the perfect party.
Decide who's hosting.
Traditionally, the maid of honor spearheads the bridal shower planning process, with support from the rest of the bridal party. However, these days, showers can be hosted by a variety of loved ones, from family members (yes, including the mother of the bride or groom!), family friends and more. Make sure you've nailed down who's hosting before starting to plan the event.
Talk to the bride and/or couple about the type of shower desired.
While you may be the one planning the bridal shower, the bride and/or couple should be consulted to nail down some of the details. Do they want a shower at all (not everyone does!)? Are there particular dates or times that won't work? Do they prefer a big or small shower? Is there a particular bridal shower theme they have in mind? While most of the bridal shower details and decisions will be up to you, plan according to this input.
Pick a bridal shower theme.
Choosing a theme will set the tone for the entire bridal shower, from the decorations to the party favors, refreshments and more. The guest of honor may have some thoughts on the shower theme, or you can choose one based on their interests or hobbies. Also decide if the theme will affect gift giving (for example, a lingerie shower means that all guests should purchase lingerie for the bride). Note that a shower doesn't have to have a theme, but you may want to choose an activity or other central focus that will help inform the party planning process.
Set the date and time.
This is probably the trickiest task on the bridal shower planning checklist—finding a date that works for the bride, the wedding party and close family and friends. Typically, the shower takes place two or three months before the wedding, but can be closer to the big day if that's the only time that will work. You'll also want to decide if the bridal shower and bachelorette party will take place during the same weekend or spaced out. Talk to the guest of honor about any scheduling conflicts, and confirm potential dates with other VIPs.
Create a budget.
Between food, decor, favors and other details, bridal shower expenses can quickly add up. Work with any co-hosts to come up with a total budget you can refer to throughout the planning process so you won't overspend.
Choose and book a venue.
Bridal showers often are hosted at a loved one's home, but they can also take place at restaurants, bars, country clubs, event spaces, spas and more. Check out The Knot Marketplace to find bridal shower venues in your area that fit your event's size and budget, tour your favorites and put down a deposit to reserve your chosen space.
Create the guest list.
A bridal shower guest list typically includes members of the wedding party, close family, and close friends, depending on the desired size of the event and the venue's capacity. Just remember this one etiquette rule: Anyone you invite to the shower must also be invited to the wedding.
Hire any vendors.
If you're hiring pros, like a bridal shower planner, photographer, florist, caterer, rentals company, DJ or cake baker, to help out with the event, now's the time to research and book them.Guests will look to a couple's wedding registry to purchase bridal shower gifts. Make sure the couple has set up their registry and shared the information on their wedding website, so they'll receive their desired gifts.
Make a detailed to-do list and assign tasks.
Once the above decisions are made, you'll also want to nail down who is responsible for obtaining or creating supplies, setting up, organizing games, recording gifts, making the ribbon bouquet, etc. Create a to-do list that outlines assigned tasks, so everyone knows what to do and when.
A bridal or wedding shower is a celebration that honors the bride/groom and their upcoming marriage. It’s also traditionally an opportunity for guests to give gifts to help set up their new home. Nowadays, wedding showers can take many forms and themes, from elegant high tea luncheons to a group cooking class or casual co-ed gathering with the groom-to-be and his pals in attendance, as well. To make this process easier, we’ve designed the ultimate guide to a successful bridal shower. We’ve answered your most pressing questions and given you a bridal shower checklist that will guarantee a flawless day.
